Call me!

I am a cell phone murderer! Since I started working at my current job (a little over 2 years ago) I have owned four different phones. When I got a new phone it was because I was forced to.

First phone I broke by sending it through the washing machine. Yeah, apparently you shouldn’t do that. Who knew?

Next phone was a Sidekick 3. I hated that blasted phone. First problem: whenever I made a call on it, I was told I sounded like I was “underwater”. Second problem: It would not receive some text messages. Ever. I would have them sent to me multiple times and never get them. I called the service provider and they informed me that I would have to wait to get the software update sent to me. Lame. Third problem: When it got cold, it would lose all its battery and die. It would turn off and I could not turn it back on until I charged it. Not good since I owned it mostly in the winter. There were times when it would just freeze up on me and I would have to take out the battery and memory card and then wait for it to turn back on. Sidekicks take a very long time to turn on. I also dropped it one too many times and so it wouldn’t flip correctly. I don’t blame the cell phone maker for that, just me for being clumsy. Finally, I took it on Splash Mountain and go the wettest I have ever gotten on that ride. Unfortunately, my phone also got wet (or kind of fortunately in this case). I dried it out by removing all the parts I could, but then for the last while I owned it, the screen was upside down and backwards. That was interesting when trying to read/write text messages.

Next phone was my favorite phone I have ever owned. It was a Samsung and was a thin little candy bar phone. This one I snapped in half. Yes, I managed to snap a phone in half. When I tried to buy another one of the same model, I was told it was only for new customers. What?!

I am currently on a Motorola SLVR. I like it fine, but it makes me angry a lot of days. I purchased it unlocked from a website and turns out it is a European Phone. It will not learn how to spell “thing” in predictive text. I have taught it that word every day, but it will not learn it. Instead I get vigoi. Also, it likes German words, even though I set it to English. It spells “im” before is spells “in”. It suggests umlauts to me on most words that contain an “o”. When I start to spell early, the first word it comes up with is Darjeeling. It takes me much longer to write a text message than it should.

Sometimes it’s so frustrating I wish it would break. But then, I don’t know what I’d do. T-Mobile has lame phones and I wouldn’t want to purchase another European one.

I am convinced that the cell phone gods are punishing me for mistreating so many of their brethren. But I can’t help being so clumsy!