She knew she was right

The word of the day is Vituperate. It is pronounced like so: Vi (as in vitamin) tup (like tube, but with a p) a (like the word a) rate (like the word rate). Vituperate is a synonym of berate. It means to abuse or censure severely or abusively.

I personally hate to be vituperated. It’s what has kept me good over the years. The thought of a scolding from my parents, teachers, or anyone else who might take the chance is something I strongly shy away from.

Of all things, I like to be right the most. I take great pride in my correctness. I’m not often wrong, and that’s not always a good thing. I hate to apologize. I don’t admit defeat. When someone vituperates me because I’ve done something wrong, I don’t often forget it. I try my best to never make the same mistake twice. I’m usually pretty successful.

...Which must make living with me or just plain knowing me a treat. I don’t proclaim myself unless I absolutely know I am right or can find a way out. When I know I have something right, I stick to it to the death. My stubbornness has caused me to get into a lot of arguments. And the solution let’s-agree-to-disagree, doesn’t work for me. I can’t stand that someone will not agree with me when I am trying so hard to convince them.

And yet I am who I am. People who can’t handle me soon move on. I usually only show my true nature to the people I really like. It’s as if I wait for them to vest in me and then I try to drive them away.

Over the past few years I think I’ve become a little better. I’ve been out of school where chances to prove how smart I am are rare and useless. No one cares what my grades or test scores were. I don’t even care about them. No one cares which college I got into. No one cares how many tests I passed. The point of being smart now is to be able to carry on a conversation with the people around me. I’d say I do a tolerable job of that.

But believe me, you cross me on something I know or strongly believe in, you better be the one prepared for vituperation.